More things kids from the ’70s believed, according to our readers
A previous piece on childhood myths brought in a wave of readers with their own additions. One comment kept resurfacing in different forms: the tooth fairy supposedly graded each tooth on cleanliness before deciding how much to pay.
Turns out that wasn’t the only creative parenting trick of the decade. Not close.
If you crossed your eyes they’d stay that way
Usually delivered with a follow-up threat: someone taps you on the back at the exact wrong moment, and that’s it, stuck forever. Doctors have since confirmed that crossing your eyes for fun won’t permanently misalign anything. Actual crossed eyes come from nerve or muscle issues, not from a kid making a silly face at the dinner table.
The tooth fairy graded your dental hygiene
Losing a tooth used to be exciting. Then parents added a catch. Kids were told the fairy checked enamel cleanliness under some kind of microscope, leaving less money, or none at all, if the tooth looked neglected. No lecture required. Just a financial incentive to brush.
Pool water changed color if you peed in it
A specific kind of dread, every public pool, every summer. Parents swore the water held a dye that reacted instantly to urine, surrounding the culprit with an unmistakable blue cloud for the whole pool to see. No such chemical exists. Never has. The fear worked anyway, and it’s still working on kids today.
Watermelon seeds would sprout in your stomach
Summer barbecues came with genuine panic attached to every bite. Swallow a black seed and somehow, warm stomach acid plus a little moisture would combine to grow an actual watermelon right there in your belly. The body has no soil. No sunlight either. The myth persisted regardless, decade after decade.
Swallowed gum stayed in your stomach for seven years
Spit it out or live with the consequences. That was the deal. In reality, the body can’t digest gum, but it passes through completely intact within a day or two. Seven years was never on the table.
Cracking your knuckles caused arthritis
That distinctive pop got blamed for decades of future joint damage, every single time. A Harvard Medical School study eventually traced the sound to bubbles bursting in the synovial fluid that lubricates joints. Zero connection to arthritis. None.
Sitting too close to the TV would ruin your eyesight
Made sense on the surface, honestly. Television sets ran hot, glowed bright in a dim living room, and felt like exactly the kind of thing that could hurt something. Eye doctors have since confirmed that close-range viewing might cause temporary strain but does not permanently damage eyesight. Didn’t stop a single kid from getting scolded for scooting closer to the screen, though.
The bottom line
None of these stories were cruel. Most were clever shortcuts, ways to get a kid to brush their teeth or behave at the pool without a lengthy explanation nobody had time for anyway. Whether they actually worked is a separate question. A pretty good one, actually.
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Related:
- Nostalgic gold: 1980s cartoons worth rewatching as an adult
- Fun things we could do in the ’80s that today’s kids just can’t
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