This article was reviewed by Kelly Brown MD, MBA.
Intimacy doesn’t just feel good — it’s also a sign of a healthy relationship.
Couples who have regular intimate connection report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and life satisfaction.
They may also be healthier, as intimate activity is associated with higher rates of happiness, less stress, and many other physical and psychological benefits we’ll share below.
It’s also possible to have a healthy relationship without having intimate connection at all if you and your partner are getting your needs met in other ways.
Keep reading to learn how important intimacy really is for a relationship, the positive impact of intimacy on your physical and mental health, and, lastly, if there’s a quota you should be meeting when it comes to intimacy frequency.
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Why Is Intimacy Important in Relationships?
Numerous studies show that satisfaction is linked to relationship satisfaction, but there are conflicting ideas on which comes first. Does good intimacy lead to a good relationship, or vice versa?
In this four-year 2023 study of 2,104 heterosexual couples, researchers found that relationship quality is often determined by how well a person’s relationship needs are met. Since a satisfying intimate relationship can fulfill some of the most fundamental relationship needs, such as closeness and emotional intimacy, the findings suggest that satisfaction contributes to a happier relationship over time.
But more intimacy doesn’t always mean more satisfaction. The study also showed that changes in satisfaction often predicted changes in frequency. If a partner isn’t satisfied, they won’t want to have as much intimate connection. So the researchers suggest that couples focus on having more fulfilling intimate encounters if they want to have more intimacy.
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How Intimacy Strengthens Relationships
How does intimacy contribute to this feeling of closeness? It may have to do with the chemical oxytocin.
Also known as the “love hormone,” oxytocin is associated with positive feelings like empathy and trust. One of its major functions is to facilitate childbirth in women, but studies show it’s also released during bonding activities like hugging and intimacy.
One 2021 review found that oxytocin is crucial for the neuroendocrine processes involved in “romantic love,” especially during its initial stages. It helps to strengthen the bond between partners and fosters positive emotions toward each other. Oxytocin also helps to lower stress and promote relaxation, which is good for your relationship and for your overall well-being.
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How Important Is Intimacy to a Man in a Relationship?
There aren’t gender differences when it comes to the importance of intimacy in a relationship, but there may be a difference in what aspect of intimacy different genders consider most important.
Studies show that satisfaction in intimacy is linked to quality of life in both men and women, but men tend to value the intrapersonal aspects of intimacy — such as physical pleasure — more. Women, on the other hand, tend to focus more on the interpersonal aspects of intimacy, like emotional connection.
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How Important Is Intimacy to a Woman in a Relationship?
Other studies confirm the importance of emotional connection for women, especially during later stages of the relationship.
In a 2023 study of 237 partnered young adults, women considered satisfaction to be the most important predictor of relationship satisfaction in the early stages of a relationship. Later, when living with their partners, women considered closeness to be the most important predictor of relationship satisfaction — though intimacy was still important.
If you’re dating a woman with a particularly high drive, we’ve got tips that can benefit you and your partner.
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The Benefits of Intimacy in a Relationship
You already know that intimate relationships can contribute to life satisfaction, but did you know that intimacy can also contribute to better physical and mental health?
Research suggests that intimate activity may facilitate lower blood pressure and heart rate while reducing stress. Meanwhile, lower activity has been linked to increased mortality and poor health. Dive into the details below.
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Physical Health Benefits
How important is intimacy in a relationship when it comes to your physical well-being?
The physical benefits include:
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Better heart health. In a 2020 study of over 15,000 US adults, subjects who had more intimate connection than 52 times a year (compared to 0–1 times per year) had a 21 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease. Similarly, this study of 495 heart attack patients found that having intimate connection at least once a week was associated with a 10 percent drop in heart disease deaths and a significant 44 percent decline in non-heart disease mortality.
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Enhanced cognitive health. In a study of over 6,000 U.S. adults, having more intimate connection and greater emotional closeness led to better memory performance in subjects aged 50 and over.
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Strengthened immune function. Some research has shown a connection between intimacy and immunity. One study found that subjects who had more intimate connection than three times a month were less susceptible to contracting COVID-19 from infected individuals because it made them “more competent” to deal with pathogens.
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Pain relief. Intimacy may help to relieve pain due to a release of endorphins, which are considered powerful analgesics. For men, simply being aroused may lessen pain.
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Mental Health Benefits
In addition to more life satisfaction and greater connection to your partner, there are a number of other mental benefits like:
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Lower levels of depression. A large study of over 2,500 older adults found that regular intimacy was associated with significantly lower rates of depression in both men and women, whether they were married or unmarried.
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Reduced stress. Thanks in part to that release of oxytocin we referenced above, research shows intimacy lowers stress to the same extent as physical exercise. It can also improve your stress response and even promote recovery from stress. These effects may be one reason why intimacy is considered good for your heart and overall health.
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Better sleep quality. A study that explored the effects of intimacy on sleep found that partnered intimacy increased sleep quality in men and women.
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How Much Intimacy Should You Be Having?
You don’t need to have intimacy every day to reap the benefits.
On average, most American couples have intimacy around once a week — but there’s no one-size-fits-all number when it comes to the ideal frequency in a relationship. It’s up to you and your partner(s) to decide what amount is right for you.
It’s also normal for frequency to decline over time. Many studies show that couples tend to have less intimacy in long-term relationships, and that works for some people.
For instance, in this 2020 study, the longer a couple was together, the less they had intimacy, but men reported being more satisfied. Remember, the quality of the experiences you have is more significant than the frequency.
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How to Spice Up Your Intimate Life
Here are some other ideas for having better intimacy:
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Communicate your desires
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Try a toy
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See a therapist
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Use lube
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Role-play
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Ask about your partner’s fantasies
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Try somewhere new
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Try a different time of the day
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Schedule time for intimacy.
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Intimate texting
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Explore all the different erogenous zones
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Get help for any dysfunctions you or your partner may have
Intimacy isn’t the only valid form. If some forms aren’t possible, it may be worth exploring other forms of physical affection to maintain a healthy intimate life, whether that’s cuddling, or something else entirely.
Related: 8 Tips to Spice Up a Relationship Dryspell This Valentine’s Day
Related: Is It Bad to Be Intimate Everyday?
This article originally appeared on Hims.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org
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