The wedding dress has been altered, the tuxes are pressed, and the rings are tucked safely in velvet boxes. Chefs are preparing an elaborate meal, bartenders are ready to fill Champagne flutes, and a DJ is putting the final touches on his playlist. The venue is decorated with flowers and candles, and the hotel is packed with happy guests.
The only question is: Who’s paying for all this?
Weddings are notoriously expensive. But they are also an important and romantic day in a couple’s life. Who foots the bill for this party has changed over the years. Below, we’ll break down who pays for which wedding expenses in 2023 — and who traditionally paid in previous generations.
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Who Pays for the Wedding in 2023?
In the past, it’s been the tradition for the bride’s family to pay for nearly the entire wedding, and the groom’s family to pick up smaller expenses such as the rehearsal dinner. In some cases, families still follow these traditions, but increasingly people are embracing new ways of covering these costs.
Nowadays, wedding expenses can be split any number of ways, and couples are exploring many different ways to pay for their big day:
- Independent couples may decline help from parents and instead pay out of pocket or borrow money to cover the wedding costs.
- Both families and the bride and groom may decide to split the costs. Sometimes grandparents or other extended family members will offer to pay for a portion of the wedding.
- If the groom comes from a wealthier family, his parents may chip in beyond their traditional requirements.
- Since the legalization of same-sex marriage in the United States, LGBTQ+ couples are creating their own traditions since there’s not a single bride or single groom at the altar.
That’s the beauty of your wedding day: It’s yours. Many brides and grooms are embracing the fact that they no longer have to follow outdated customs if they don’t want to.
For others, however, tradition matters — and that’s OK, too. If you’re planning to follow cultural traditions to a T when funding your wedding, how do you split the bill?
Let’s break down who traditionally pays for the wedding and other related expenses.
The Bride’s Family
Historically, the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding expenses. Depending on the size and extravagance of the wedding, it can add up.
If you’re the parents of the bride who plan to foot the bill, but you don’t have enough money in savings, it might be worth taking out a personal loan to cover the wedding expenses. In the long run, it’s typically a cheaper option than putting everything on a credit card.
While the bride’s family traditionally takes care of many of the wedding expenses they don’t pay for everything. And every wedding is a little different. You may choose to skip certain items or events (and you may find yourself adding, too). Here’s what the bride’s family typically covers:
Expenses the Bride’s Family Is Traditionally Responsible For
- Engagement announcements
- Engagement party
- Wedding planner
- Invitations, save-the-dates, and wedding programs
- Venue for the ceremony
- Venue for the reception
- Flowers and decorations
- Wedding photographer and videographer
- Wedding dress
- Transportation and lodging for the bridesmaids
- Transportation and lodging for the officiant
- Food at the reception
- Wedding cake
- Brunch the morning after the wedding
The Groom’s Family
If you have only sons and think you’re off the hook, don’t get too excited. You still have to cover some costs at the wedding as the parents of the groom.
Though less extensive, the groom’s family’s financial burdens can add up. Personal loans are also an option for the groom’s family; in fact, weddings are one of the most common uses for personal loans.
Here’s everything the groom’s family traditionally pays for at a wedding.
Expenses the Groom’s Family Is Traditionally Responsible For
- Rehearsal dinner
- Marriage license
- Officiant’s fee
- Boutonnieres for the groom, his groomsmen, and family members
- Bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids
- DJ or band
- Transportation and lodging for the groomsmen
- Alcohol at the reception
- Honeymoon (in some cases)
The Bride
Many women have dreamed of their wedding days since childhood. But as little girls, they probably didn’t think much about the actual wedding costs they’d have to pay themselves — and there are quite a few.
Expenses the Bride is Traditionally Responsible For
Traditionally, the bride pays for her future husband’s wedding ring, as well as a special gift for him. She may also buy gifts for her bridesmaids. In some cases, she’ll pay for the flowers, and she usually pays for her own hair and makeup.
Nowadays, however, brides may step up and pay more to help out her parents. Many brides choose to do this in part so that they can feel like they have more say in determining the plans for their special day.
People are also getting married later than they did in past generations (the average age for women is now 30 and for a man it’s 32), which means brides (and grooms) may feel more financially capable of covering the expenses themselves.
The Groom
The groom isn’t off the hook either. At weddings, he’s responsible for a few purchases as well.
And even though he and the bride may have separate wedding responsibilities, as a newly married couple they are likely planning to combine their finances, if they haven’t already. Even if they don’t have a joint bank account, the bride and groom are essentially covering their wedding expenses together.
Expenses the Groom Is Traditionally Responsible For
The first big expense a groom encounters is the one that sets the whole wedding in motion: the engagement ring. The average cost of an engagement ring is now about $6,000. Grooms who don’t have that kind of cash lying around often turn to engagement ring financing options, including personal loans.
While the ring is often the groom’s biggest expense, he’s also responsible for the bride’s wedding band, gifts for his groomsmen, a gift for his bride, his own tux, and the honeymoon — if his parents aren’t footing the bill. (The honeymoon isn’t cheap either; the average cost of a honeymoon is now $5,100.)
Some grooms may also pay for the license and officiant, instead of asking his parents to cover that cost.
Who Pays for Other Wedding Costs
There is also the cost of being in someone’s wedding. For instance, groomsmen and bridesmaids are typically responsible for paying for their own tuxedos and dresses.
These two groups also pay for the bachelorette and bachelor parties for the bride and groom. Bridesmaids may also need to pay for their hair and makeup on the big day.
As someone attending a wedding, you should give a gift, unless the couple has discouraged this. And if it’s a destination wedding, you’ll have to pay your own travel costs, which can include hotels and transportation.
Wedding Costs
Now we know who traditionally pays for what at weddings — and that many modern couples are foregoing these traditions. But how much does a wedding cost?
In 2023, the average couple will spend $29,000 all-in on a wedding. For couples who are paying without their families’ help, a personal loan is the best route, if they don’t have the money in savings or have that money earmarked for buying a house or starting a family.
Are you considering taking out a loan to cover the cost of your wedding? Here are the typical personal loan requirements you’ll need for approval.
The Takeaway
Weddings are expensive, and traditions usually put the bulk of the financial burden on the bride’s family. However, many couples are breaking from tradition nowadays, paying for wedding expenses themselves or splitting the cost among family members more evenly — or in a way that reflects each family’s means.
This article originally appeared on SoFi.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
Photo credit: iStock/Halfpoint
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This is the cheapest state in the US for your wedding
Getting married in the United States can be an expensive affair. This is especially true when compared to other countries where the cost of living is much lower. Unfortunately for most people with families in the United States, a destination wedding is not always on the cards.
Getting married close to home is more realistic, affordable and logistically possible in most cases. But if you’re the type who likes to get the best bang for your buck, it doesn’t hurt to explore options.
A lot of your expenses will come down to the state you decide to get married in. For example, in Hawaii, the average wedding costs a whopping $37,827. When compared to the average cost in Alabama (about $17,000), you might wonder if an exotic destination is worth it.
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Before flushing money down the drain on an expensive wedding, ask yourself whether it’s worth it. Does spending a ton of money on a party align with your priorities? Would you rather spend your money on a great honeymoon or put it in the bank? Do you even have the money to spend?
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Here are a few reasons you should really consider a cheaper state for your wedding location:
- You could wind up saving thousands for your future. Rather than spending close to $40,000 on your wedding day, you could potentially save that money instead. You can use what you saved to start your life together, pay off debt, or even just invest. A lot of people struggle to make money on the side just so they can have their dream wedding on their big day. Simply choosing a more affordable location could help you save thousands in this regard.
- Getting married in another state will reduce the number of guests. If you are struggling to limit your guest list, having a wedding in another state could help. (Pro tip: You may not want to mention this reasoning to your friends.) The family and friends who want to be there will happily buy a ticket to join you on your big day while people you barely know will likely pass. If you want to have a small wedding without hurting anyone’s feelings, this is a good option.
- It could be really exciting! Sure, you could get married in the same church everyone in your hometown got married in, but being able to plan your wedding in a brand new destination makes your day more unique and special. You’ll likely even discover some really exciting places and make new memories along the way.
- You could make a trip out of it. If you do decide to fly to another state, it is unlikely you are only going to be there for one day. You could stay for a week, discover a new part of your country, and make a trip out of it.
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Apart from being affordable, you also want to get married in a place that is exactly right for your dream wedding. Below you’ll find some of the most notable features every state offers. I’ve also highlighted which elements of the wedding are most affordable where, and what that state is best known for. Find the most affordable places to get married and have the wedding of your dreams from the list below!
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The most expensive on this list, Texas has an average wedding cost of $25,327 with couples actually spending the most on food ($4,445). Tons of cuisine options make this state a foodie’s dream.
It also has a lot of venue options you can choose from and the potential for a pretty unique cowboy wedding.
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The average cost of a wedding at Wyoming is $24,919, and you can look forward to countless venue options with the Taggart Lake and the Schwabacher Landing being scenic options worth considering.
The average cost per guest comes in at only $65 making this a really affordable option.
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According to ValuePenguin, you can expect to spend an average of $21,004 on your wedding in Indiana. Golf clubs, historical estates, fields, farms and heritage gardens are a few of the many venue options you can consider for your Indiana wedding.
Known for the gorgeous pictures that come out of every Indiana wedding, the state prides itself on the many outdoor venue options available to couples.
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You can expect to splash an average of $18,800 on ceremony and reception cost in Oregon. Engagement rings cost less in Oregon as well; with an average cost of $3,600 compared to the U.S. average of $7,750
Oregon is known for its lush vegetation and beautiful forest weddings. So if that is up your creek, it is an awesome choice worth considering!
Apart from the enchanted forest option, Oregon also offers up beaches, beautiful lakes and rivers across the state. So whether you are looking for a toes in the sand kind of wedding or a more refined affair, there is something for you either way!
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Kansas has an average ceremony and reception cost of $18,500. The average engagement ring cost comes in at $3,900 which makes the total average around $22,400.
Kansas is known for its BBQ weddings and it is actually the most popular catering food in the state. Pair this with a rustic farm or even one of the more historic buildings that some couples gravitate towards and you have got yourself a beautiful but laid back wedding, which is perfect for some. The most common cities in Kansas to get married include Wichita, Topeka and of course- Kansas City.
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The average cost of a ceremony and reception in Oklahoma is only $16,900 according to Insider. Known for their scenic farmland backdrops and beautiful summers, Oklahoma boasts tons of affordable venue options.
Whether you want a rustic barn or a view of the city skyline, you can find the right option for you in Oklahoma.
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Montana is famous for its mountain weddings and ranch venue destinations. So, if that is something you could see yourself falling in love with, it is a great option to consider.
The average wedding cost in Montana is $16,201 according to The Knot, making it one of the cheapest options up for grabs.
It is a nature lover’s dream with parks, lakeshores, mountains and ranches all being great venue options. With the average cost per guest coming in at only $39, having a small wedding in Montana takes barely any planning, and can be a beautiful affair with the right event planner by your side.
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Idaho is not only a very cheap state to get married in, but it also offers some of the most affordable engagement rings. The average wedding cost comes in at $16,000 with the engagement ring cost being about $3,800.
Some of Idaho’s most popular wedding destinations include-
- Elkins Resort on Priest Lake. Priest Lake is one of the most common wedding spots for couples in the state.
- Coeur d’Alene Wedding Chapel. If you are looking for something indoors and more traditional, this historical wedding chapel with its high domed ceiling and stone altar is a beautiful and classy option.
- The Sawtooth Valley Meditation Chapel. The Sawtooth Valley Meditation Chapel offers a picturesque mountain view wedding option at an incredibly affordable price. You can choose to have an outdoor ceremony near the mountain peaks or an indoor ceremony in the chapel.
Overall, Idaho can be as cheap as you want to make it without compromising on beauty and elegance.
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Utah is the most affordable U.S. state to get married in with the average cost coming in at only $13,301. The most common place in Utah to get married has to be Salt Lake City with plenty of resorts, national parks, mountainous regions, lodges and ballrooms to choose from depending on what you want.
Whether you choose to make it a more rustic affair with an outdoor wedding or a more black-tie event by hiring out a ballroom, Utah is full of natural beauty in a multitude of forms. While you are there, you can also take the time to take part in one of the state’s many activities on offer- hiking, fishing, or rafting are all awesome options.
If you choose to get married in Utah, you won’t be compromising on beauty by opting for the cheapest or most affordable place to get married.
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No matter what state you decide on for your big day, it is important to not only focus on how much you spend. Make sure you are also having a wedding celebration that aligns with your values, no matter where it is. You may not choose the most affordable place in the country to get married. The thing that matters is that the place you choose fits your vision and your budget for your day.
If you do choose to go for a more expensive state, you could still cut costs down by doing simple things like getting a side hustle, buying a used wedding dress, or investing in used wedding decor that you find online.
This article originally appeared on TheBudgetSaavyBride.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
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Featured Image Credit: Artem Zakharov / iStock.
