Intimacy in Long-Distance Relationships
From long-distance adult toys to intimate texting and sending romantic love letters, there are many creative ways to maintain intimacy when you and your partner are miles apart.
In this guide, you’ll learn about a number of those intimate strategies for long-distance couples, including:
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Long-distance adult toys and wearables
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Intimate texting
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Phone intimacy
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Intimate FaceTime and video chats
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Old-fashioned love letters
We’ll also discuss ways to stay emotionally connected with your partner and why maintaining intimacy is important — regardless of where you are geographically located.
Do Long Distance Relationships Work?
Does distance make the heart grow fonder or more frustrated, intimately speaking?
A lack of physical intimacy is one of the most obvious and difficult challenges of a long-distance relationship. But every relationship has its own unique challenges. In fact, some research shows few differences between long-distance couples and geographically close couples.
All to say, long-distance relationships can and do work—and prioritizing non-physical connection and regular communication is key to helping to ensure that’s the case. One 2006 study found that one-third of long-distance couples break up within three months of reuniting due to loss of autonomy, problems with time management, and increased conflict. The researchers also pointed out that long-distance couples tend to idealize each other while apart, and such feelings may dissipate (and disappoint) upon reunion. Individuals who broke up after reuniting were more likely to report that they noticed negative characteristics in their partners they hadn’t seen before meeting back up.
However, these findings shouldn’t stop you from working toward a shared future with a long-distance partner. Instead, they should underscore the importance of getting to know your person while apart through intentional, regular, and open communication.
Why Intimacy Matters in a Long-Distance Relationship
Both physical and emotional intimacy are vital to any romantic relationship. While cohabiting couples can nurture shared intimacy through physical affection and daily experiences, long-distance couples may need to get a little more creative.
According to a small 2015 study of 19 long-distance couples, one type of intimacy that can sustain the relationship dynamic is “imagined” intimacy. The authors state that couples who are apart can use their imagination to maintain intimacy when physical affection and shared daily experiences are impossible. For instance, regularly checking in to ask about your partner’s day can help you fill in the blanks of their daily life. Exchanging photos and video calls can help you better visualize what it would be like to be together, in the same place, which can then paint a picture of how a shared future might look.
Keep reading to learn creative tips for maintaining intimacy with your long-distance partner, thanks to the help of technology and a little imagination.
How to Stay Intimately Connected in a Long-Distance Relationship
Long-Distance Adult Toys and Wearables
There are a variety of long-distance toys for couples that are Bluetooth- and Wi-Fi-enabled, allowing one partner to control the toy (and, by proxy, the other partner’s pleasure) from a distance, either through an app or a remote control.
Here’s a rundown of the best types of long-distance adult toys:
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Remote control toys. There are many app-controlled toys on the market that cater to both local and long-distance play. These toys can be paired with a smartphone, enabling a physically far-away partner to control toys settings and intensity levels in real-time, adding surprise and a sense of closeness even when far apart. You can also opt for a remote adult toy. Though these toys need to be in close range to their remote control to work, they can still be enjoyed during steamy video chats or phone intimacy.
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Couples’ toys with dual stimulation. Some remote adult toys also feature two-way functionality, meaning both partners can feel sensations simultaneously. This creates an interactive and immersive experience that may help you feel more closely connected.
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Wearable toy. A wearable toy placed inside the underwear to stimulate the privates. Most remote-controlled toys have a magnetic attachment to keep them in place. They are controlled by an app from anywhere.
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Interactive male toys. Male toys are worn on the privates and have modes that simulate the experience of being with your partner. Some can even be connected to interactive adult movies for more immersive solo play. Some male toys can also be connected to app-controlled rabbit for dual stimulation. Rings help you have longer-lasting, harder arosal by trapping blood in the shaft of your privates. App-controlled rings allow your partner to control the ring during play.
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Insertable toys. Insertable toys enable the sensation of being with your partner. Opt for one made of silicone if you want something soft and easy to clean. Don’t forget the lube when using an insertable adult toy.
Intimate Texting
If you’re a beginner, don’t be intimidated by the idea of sending a flirty (or dirty) message to your partner. Research has found that intimate texting may increase satisfaction in long-term relationships and strengthen the romance factor in long-distance relationships.
Need some help to get started? Try the following:
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Share an intimate fantasy.
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Tell your partner what you plan on doing to them the next time you see them.
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If you’re into dom/sub play or other kinks, give them some spicy instructions.
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Reminisce about one of your shared experiences.
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Ask them what they’re wearing.
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Remind them what you find hot about them or what they’re good at doing, intimately.
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If you’re into sharing intimate photos, take your best shot.
Before you press send on a text, just be sure to communicate first and get consent. Are they comfortable with the idea? When would be an appropriate time for intimate texting? Should you use a separate app to keep things extra secure?
Phone Intimacy
Like intimate texting, phone intimacy requires you to get creative with your words, but it has the added thrill of whispers and moans.
Before starting a phone intimacy session, ensure both you and your partner have privacy. Then ease into the conversation to build anticipation, kind of like verbal intimacy.
A successful phone intimacy session is whatever you and your partner want it to be. For some ideas, you can share fantasies, instruct them on how to use a adult toy, watch adult movies together while mutually having solo time, narrate to them how you’re touching yourself, and so much more.
Intimate FaceTime and Video Chats
Thanks to technology, you and your partner can enjoy intimate activities face-to-face, even if you’re located across the world from one another.
Like with phone intimacy, you’ll want to make sure that you’re each alone and comfortable to fully enjoy the experience. You may also want to do a test run first by yourself in order to see your most flattering angles that’ll boost your confidence once it’s showtime.
There are so many ways to enjoy virtual intimacy with your partner, but you can try the following if you need ideas:
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Have solo time together while holding eye contact.
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Send them a adult toy and then ask them to demonstrate using it.
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Watch adult movies together.
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Take a bath or shower together.
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Play adult games.
Before you tune in, be sure you’ve both discussed your boundaries with video intimacy and take care to confirm you’re using a secure platform.
Old-Fashioned Love Letters
Even in our hyper-connected digital world, it can be challenging to stay connected when you’re miles away from your partner. A loss of Wi-Fi or a power outage could make you feel even more isolated in your relationship when you rely on tech to maintain intimacy.
That’s why you might consider writing a intimate explicit love letter and sending it via snail mail. Take your time to be as detailed as possible, and then let the anticipation build while you wait for them to receive it.
How to Stay Emotionally Connected
Communicate Regularly
If you’re in a committed long-distance relationship, you’ll also want to ensure you’re emotionally connected. By communicating regularly and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you’re investing in a stronger future.
Go on Long-Distance Dates
Phone calls and video chats don’t always have to be solely focused on intimacy. Make time for ordinary hangouts, like ordering takeout and having dinner together or watching a movie. If you’re in opposite time zones, it can also be fun to pair your morning coffee with their nightcap.
Plan Visits
To maintain in-person affection and intimacy, try to plan meetups as often as possible. Doing so provides something to look forward to when loneliness starts to creep in. Sort out your schedules, make lists of things you want to do together, and start counting down the days.
Share Schedules
Making time for that phone call or video chat can be difficult when you’re on opposite schedules, but it’s not impossible. Get to know your partner’s schedule and display it somewhere accessible. It can also be helpful to use a world clock widget or app to keep track of your time difference. Then, pick times that work for both of you, and set reminders so you don’t miss a date.
Set Ground Rules
Trust and transparency are essential in every relationship, but not all relationships are alike. Setting some ground rules allows you to be on the same page in a way that works best for both of you. This can include:
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How often do you talk/text?
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What’s the maximum amount of time between visits?
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How will you manage the costs of the visits?
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How long will the relationship function long-distance?
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Will you remain monogamous while apart?
Have Shared Goals
Research has found that couples with similar relationship goals may be more satisfied and better at solving problems together.
In a long-distance relationship, your days may look wildly different from your partner’s because you’re not in the same place. Even so, it’s important to have a shared vision for the future and goals that you can work toward as a couple.
Practice Self-Care
Long-distance relationships can be challenging, and you may sometimes feel lonely and fed up with your situation. Be sure to practice self-care and use your time apart to focus on your interests, friends, and work. You may find yourself getting caught up thinking about the future, but don’t forget to make the most of right now.
Next Steps
Maintaining emotional intimacy is important in any relationship, including long-distance ones. If you need more support to help your relationship thrive, remember:
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Maintaining intimacy in long-distance relationships requires creativity. Make the most of tech and tools—like adult toys, intimate texting, phone intimacy, and video chats—to stay connected.
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Regular communication is key. Be emotionally vulnerable, and plan regular visits to maintain emotional and physical connection with your partner.
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Take care of yourself. Long-distance relationships can be fulfilling and successful but also require work. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being within the framework of your long-distance relationship.
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This article originally appeared on Hims.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org
