Each year at Yuletide, a slew of albums is released with all sorts of different takes on the holidays. Some are entertaining and come from musically talented individuals, while others are just cynical attempts to sell something.
Whichever category they fall into, we’re presenting a list of really unusual Christmas albums that somehow got approved at a pitch meeting. Some of them are surprisingly listenable and some are subpar, but we think you’ll agree that all of them are baffling.
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1. ‘Home for Christmas’ by John Schneider & Tom Wopat
John Schneider and Tom Wopat played Bo and Luke Duke respectively on the television series, “The Dukes of Hazard.” That show took place in the American South and featured a theme song by Waylon Jennings, but the pair’s 2014 duet album “Home for Christmas” eschews twang in favor of diet jazz versions of the standards. It hit number 10 on the Billboard jazz charts, somehow.
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2. ‘Hung for the Holidays’ by William Hung
“Hung for the Holidays” was another step in former “American Idol” contestant William Hung’s quest for world domination of the music market, which sadly never came to pass. The quality of his performances is consistent with that of his previous performances, so if you’re a William Hung completist this EP will engender wonderful feelings deep within you.
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3. ‘Tales From The Crypt: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas’ by John Kassir
John Kassir, best known as the voice of the Crypt Keeper on the television show, “Tales From The Crypt,” gives the holiday classics a whirl on “Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas.” It consists of parodies of existing Christmas tunes given a horror movie spin, which results in such songs as “Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie.” If you love dad jokes, look no further.
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4. ‘A John Waters Christmas’ by Various Artists
We’ve known since the “cha cha heels” scene in the 1974 cinematic classic “Female Trouble” that director John Waters has strong feelings about the holidays. But who knew he’d personally curate a Christmas-themed album, containing performances from such stellar talents as Alvin & the Chipmunks and Tiny Tim? In all, it adds up to a joyous holiday platter from the man who brought us the last minute of “Pink Flamingos.”
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5. ‘A Heavy Metal Christmas’ by Christopher Lee
The late Christopher Lee may not seem like the type of dude who would be into the holidays, what with his penchant for playing onscreen vampires and allies of the dark lord Sauron. However, that does sound extremely metal, making his 2012 Christmas album a must-have that will delight Hobbits and Orcs of all ages.
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6. ‘A Twisted Christmas’ by Twisted Sister
Can we be honest with you? 2006’s “A Twisted Christmas” by heavy metal legends Twisted Sister ain’t half bad. It’s unlikely to dethrone “Stay Hungry” as their highest-selling album, but it’s a better listen overall than “Under the Blade,” which could use a remix.
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7. ‘Christmas Eve with Colonel Sanders’ by Various Artists
In 1969, when KFC was still known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, “Christmas Eve with Colonel Sanders” was released to consumers. They could have been forgiven for extrapolating from the front cover that it was the Colonel himself singing on the album but in reality, the record was just a compilation of artists like Floyd Cramer and Chet Atkins doing Christmas songs. You did us dirty, Colonel!
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8. ‘VH-1 Presents RuPaul: Ho Ho Ho’ by RuPaul
1997’s “VH-1 Presents RuPaul: Ho Ho Ho” is drag queen RuPaul’s entry in the Christmas album sweepstakes. It’s not terrible, since RuPaul can actually carry a tune occasionally and is clearly having fun with this material, but how much did we really need an MDMA-informed take on the classics with “RuPaul the Red Nosed Reindeer” or lyrics like “all I want for Christmas is liposuction”?
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9. ‘Shatner Claus’ by William Shatner
William Shatner never heard a piece of music he didn’t want to ruin, so why should holiday carols be exempt? This time, he had help from his celebrity friends, in 2018’s “Shatner Claus.” Which features guest appearances by such recording artists as Iggy Pop, Henry Rollins, and fellow punk rocker Judy Collins.
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10. ‘Monster Ballads Xmas’ by Various Artists
Compiled in 2007, “Monster Ballads Xmas” features 15 holiday standards, the majority of which are performed by Sunset Strip hair metal bands of the 1980s. It includes contributions by Winger, Dokken, and Stryper, whose striped yellow and black outfits recalled bumble bees.
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11. ‘Snoop Dogg Presents Christmas in tha Dogg House’ by Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg’s 2008 holiday album features contributions from Tha Dogg Pound, Nate Dogg, and Players Ball founder Don “Magic” Juan. It saddens us to report that the album was only ever released digitally, which means that it can never be left under anyone’s Christmas tree.
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12. ‘We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year’ by Various Artists
For a bunch of people who get constantly accused of worshipping demons, heavy metal musicians sure seem to make a lot of Christmas albums. “We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year” from 2008 is such an album, featuring members of Motörhead, Black Sabbath, and Anthrax.
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13. ‘Meowy Christmas’ by The Jingle Cats
“Meowy Christmas” is literally an album of Christmas songs being meowed by cats. Really, that’s what it is. Made in 1993 by the Jingle Cats, whose members include Binky, Cheese Puff, Petunia, and Twizzler, playing this record will either delight you as a cat owner or make all your neighbors who can hear it move away.
This article was produced and syndicated by MediaFeed.
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