Cover songs can help fledgling artists get a foot in the door with listeners who don’t know them yet. Early albums by such groups as the Beatles and the Rolling Stones were hip deep in cover material, and in some cases, their takes on those songs became as famous as the originals.
When a cover version goes well, you get “Respect” by Aretha Franklin out of the deal. Then you have those times when it all goes wrong, and we must ask, “Why, if God exists, does He allow these terrible things to happen to innocent radio listeners?”
Here are 10 terrible cover versions that make us question everything we believe about kindness and mercy.
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1. William Shatner — ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ (originally by the Beatles)
It’s probably not a great idea for anybody to cover the Beatles because it’s unlikely anyone could top the originals. Then you have stuff like William “Captain Kirk” Shatner’s cover of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” which is so wrongheaded in its artistic instincts that it’s a physical effort to sit through all of it. His cover of “Mr. Tambourine Man” is also hot garbage. Has anyone considered not giving this guy a recording contract?
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2. Ethel Merman — ‘There’s No Business Like Show Business’ (originally by Ethel Merman)
Written in the 1940s by Irving Berlin as part of the musical “Annie Get Your Gun,” this song was popularized by Ethel Merman in the 1950s. Presumably, to pay a few bills, she latched onto the disco fad in 1979 and recorded an updated version for the Studio 54 set and put it on “The Ethel Merman Disco Album,” which regularly appears on “Worst Albums of All Time” lists. The people who put it on that list are not wrong.
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3. Limp Bizkit — ‘Faith’ (originally by George Michael)
Limp Bizkit was very popular and could do no wrong in the eyes of record buyers in the 1990s. Perhaps encouraged by their ascendant popularity, they recorded George Michael’s “Faith” in 1998, and it stormed up the charts, despite being only mildly amusing the first time you heard it and permanently losing all joke value after that. It was a great and glorious day when it finally fell off the charts, and we no longer had to hear it.
Image Credit: limpbizkit/YouTube.
4. Michael Bolton — ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ (originally by Percy Sledge)
“When a Man Loves a Woman” was written in 1966 and recorded by adult-contemporary singer Michael Bolton in 1991. It went to number one on the Billboard charts, and radio played it relentlessly. Eight years later, it became a joke in the movie “Office Space,” in which a character named “Michael Bolton” must endure questions from coworkers every day about whether or not he’s related to the famous singer. When he calls the singer a “no-talent,” he speaks for us all.
Image Credit: MichaelBolton/YouTube.
5. Megadeth — ‘Anarchy In the U.K.’ (originally recorded by the Sex Pistols)
Whatever you think of the 45th president of the United States, he was right when he said, “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” For evidence, look no further than the thrash metal band Megadeth’s ill-advised cover of the Sex Pistols’ “Anarchy in the U.K.” They had no business covering it, but since it was 1988 and thrash was popular, they let them do it. This is not to say that the original version is some masterpiece that the dirty fingertips of others must not soil, but the Megadeth cover is abominable and makes us long for the accomplished musical stylings of Sid Vicious.
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6. Marilyn Manson — ‘Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)’ (originally by the Eurythmics)
The Eurythmics were genuinely unique and groundbreaking, and when they emerged in the early 1980s with “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This),” there was nothing else like it. There were, however, many things like Marilyn Manson, and perhaps to distinguish themselves, they covered the song in 1995. They stripped it of everything but the title and the lyrics, and the musical arrangement shows what are allegedly grown men trying to make the song sound “scary” in a way that suggests a trick-or-treating eight-year-old with fake Dracula fangs.
Image Credit: Wikipedia.
7. Mick Jagger and David Bowie — ‘Dancing in the Street’ (originally recorded by Martha and the Vandellas)
We’re going a little off-mission on this one because when you take it as just a piece of music, the cover of “Dancing in the Street” recorded by Mick Jagger and David Bowie in 1985 was just kind of unremarkable, and since they did it for charity we’d like to look the other way. What we cannot do, however, is pretend we never saw the extremely embarrassing video that accompanied it. A separate charity should be founded to pay for the pain and emotional suffering endured by everyone who saw that mess.
Image Credit: Wikipedia.
8. Gal Gadot & Friends — ‘Imagine’ (originally recorded by John Lennon)
It’s one thing to record a well-intended cover song only to have nobody buy it. It’s quite another to do the same thing and be met by universal, seething hatred from people who see a video of it for free while they scroll through Twitter. “Wonder Woman” actor Gal Gadot enlisted the help of such fellow stars as Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal, and Jimmy Fallon to sing the song with her remotely, hopefully to buoy the spirits of those stuck at home doing social distancing. It was widely pilloried, and Jon Caramanica wrote in the New York Times that this version of the song “is proof that even if no one meets up in person, horribleness can spread.”
Image Credit: CBSNEWS/YouTube.
9. Judas Priest — ‘Johnny B. Goode’ (originally recorded by Chuck Berry)
Heavy metal may have had its genesis in the raw and stripped-down rock ‘n’ roll of musicians like Chuck Berry, but that doesn’t mean metal musicians should try their hand at it. This is especially true when the artist in question is Judas Priest, a band that includes operatic banshee shrieker Rob Halford on vocals. The hyper-technical approach to “Johnny B. Goode” simply doesn’t work, and that’s an extremely kind way of putting it.
Image Credit: Wikipedia.
10. Paris Hilton — ‘Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?’ (originally recorded by Rod Stewart)
When Rod Stewart recorded “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” in 1978, many fans cried foul. It was a disco song, he was a rocker, and never the twain should meet. Those same fans likely reversed their opinion when they heard socialite Paris Hilton’s 2006 version. It should go without saying that she has no business singing anything anywhere ever, but she makes a truly spectacular hash of this song. Compared to Hilton’s version, the previously reviled Rod Stewart version sounds like Beethoven.
Image Credit: Amazon.
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